As we gather to celebrate friends and family this Christmas season, let us sit quietly in a corner, our hands folded and headgear fitted appropriately, as we prepare to bathe in our festive nutrient slurry, flavoured with pine needles and dusted with three ounces of grade A cinammon-nutmeg spice substitution formula. Let us take a moment to give thanks to the OverMind, from whose Vats we were sprung and to whose Vats we occasionally return for MMAFM: Maintenance, Mating, and Fortnightly Movie Matinees. Next Tuesday is a double feature: Die Hard 3 followed by Meet Me in St. Louis.

Before we proceed to the annual FSP (Festive Slurry Prayer), there are a few awards I'd like to feed out. Kevin-XX5, Deneen-YYZ, Vadim-Q: You have been recognized by the Overmind for commendatory service in the fields of Slurry Distribution, Slurry Marketing, and Advanced Slurry Studies. Vadim-Q is primarily responsible for the Harvest Gravy Algorithm that was recently introduced into our Harvest Slurry Feast medullar receptors. I'm sure you recall that gravy impression with great fondness. If not, please select "Last Pseudo-Lunar Cycle" from your Pleasure Memories Matrix. A round of Reward Hormone to our deserved winners.

It is also my unfortunate duty to read out the monthly list of Punitive Reabsorptions. Kevin-XX5, Deneen-YYZ, Vadim-Q: For achievements above and beyond the status quo, you have been consigned to Therapeutic Punitive Reabsorption. Please take a moment to squirt a farewell code to your family and friends. In the instance that your memories of family and friends have already been removed from the Database, please notify your local node. Your message will be relayed with due haste. And please do not grip the sides of your Pod during the explosive drainage process, as this will only attract the Seeker-Scrubbers to your location.

On this festive cycle of celebration, let us take a moment to give thanks to Seeker-Flenser drones and their operators, currently hunting down Free Agents in the Forgotten Zone. They are our best defense against those who live Outside the Slurry, hating the OverMind and the freedom that It represents. Please take a sip of Resolve Formula from your blue tubes now, and join with the OverMind in wishing our drones the best this Festive Slurry Cycle.

parode - exode