[Long low winter afternoon, soft light sliding through quiet rooms. SCHMUTZIE at their computer, AIDAN in the kitchen making an unspeakable* sandwich.]

SCHMUTZIE: I learned a new word.

AIDAN: What is it?

SCHMUTZIE: Rubricate. Roo-brie-cate.

AIDAN: That's not a new word. It's been around for centuries, I imagine.

SCHMUTZIE: It means to underline part of a manuscript in red.

AIDAN: From now on I'm going to use that word whenever I can. "I'm gonna up and rubricate ya," "Let's rubricate this popsicle stand".

SCHMUTZIE: I would just say "I painted it red" instead.

AIDAN: "I rubricated it" has fewer words.

SCHMUTZIE: It sounds stupid.

AIDAN: It's efficient.

SCHMUTZIE: Efficiency is stupid.

AIDAN: That's embarrassing. I'm rubricating my face out of shame on your behalf.

SCHMUTZIE: Don't forget to rubricate the capitals in your medieval manuscript.

*The sandwich is unspeakable both in the sense that it cannot speak (unless you turn it into a complicated little puppet) and that its ingredients are sufficiently awful in combination that no one should hear about the sandwich that results**, let alone taste it.

**The Sandwich That Results sounds like a weird early 2000s indie pop album.

parode - exode