Cowboy and Sides: Famous Cowboy Breakfast, Half Cowboy Breakfast, Bran Muffin, Bagel and Cream Cheese, Western Flax or Raisin Toast, Potato Fritters or Savory Diced Potatoes, Perogies (6) and Sour Cream, Fries or Spicy Fries, Gravy - Our Unique Blend, Fruit Cup, Eggs (1) Any Styl [sic], Humpty's Bangers (2), Ham (2 - 2 oz.), Bacon (4)What's Wrong with Yesterday's Menu: I've never tried the steak or pork chop. Ordering food like that at Humpty's, like ordering the stir fry or chicken schnitzel, represents a level of commitment that I am not prepared for. Humpty's is there for late lunch and the 5 AM grease fix needed to stave off hangover(Oh yes: Humpty's is a 24 hour joint, offering the virtually untapped all-day breakfast market to hungry families and sodden partygoers around the clock). Humpty's is not there for actual deliberately eaten meals; it is a restaurant of desperation, last resorts, smoking sections. It is there for the aftermath.
Every time someone opens the front door at work, the sensor emits five sharp rapid beeps that remind me of the Art of Noise song 'Paranoimia'. Remember The Art of Noise? They were the sample-happy kings of the extended remix and the 12" record, when every single had a subtitle. They stuck in my memory because they were signed to Trevor Horn's label Zang Tumb Tuum. ZTT was the floppiest, limpest (doesn't the word 'limpest' sound a bit like 'tempest'? As in, "Our vessel was caught in a ferocious limpest and grounded near the borders of Flassland") label out there, responsible for the crass cash-grab band Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Somehow I suspect ZTT's complicity in Godley & Creme's careers, too. I should mention that, for those of you who are interested, ZTT is still around and has just released a new Frankie Goes to Hollywood greatest hits package entitled, with typical Frankie brio, "Twelve Inches". The track list reads, in both content and style, like it's 1986 all over again, with two versions of Relax, two of Welcome to the Pleasure Dome... oh what the hell. Since every song is laughable, here's the whole damn list.
1. Relax (Sex Mix)
2. Two Tribes (Hibakusha Mix)
3. Welcome To The Pleasuredome (Fruitness Mix)
4. Rage Hard (Stamped)
5. (Don't Lose What's Left) of Your Little Mind
6. Watching The Wildlife (Die Letzten Der Menschheit)
7. Warriors Of The Wasteland (Attack Mix feat Gary Moore)
8. War (Hidden)
9. Rage Hard (Freddie Bastone Mix)
1. Welcome to The Pleasuredome (Escape Act Video Mix)
2. Warriors Of The Wasteland (Attack Full Mix)
3. Two Tribes (808State Remix)
5. Rage Hard (Broad)
6. Watching The Wildlife (Hotter)
7. Warriors Of The Wasteland (Turn Of The Knife)
8. Power Of Love '93 (Alternative Mix)
9. Relax (Peter Rauhofers Doomsday Club Mix)
See? Funny. I'm almost tempted to hear the "Fruitness Mix". I either congratulate or revile Holly Johnson.
But I was talking about The Art of Noise, who are not exactly a dusty defunct band, but as far as I know are still pumping out musics for the massy hip. Okay. What does 'musics for the massy hip' mean? NOTHING, motherfucker. I was on a roll, is all. The Art of Noise are probably best known in North America for their cover of the Peter Gunn song.
Retracted on 2003-02-18::4:01 p.m.
parode - exode