Some people have taken the time out of their busy schedule to ask me why I'm not updating more frequently. They say: Mr. Node, entertain us some more for free. They say: So numb and dumb and dulled have we become that we have forgotten our latent talent to amuse ourselves. They say: we are greedy monkeys hunched on the boughs in wait for the unwarranted banana, and we'll start with the shit-flinging if you don't pony up the yellow fruit. They say: 'Tell your husband that he's lazy - Jinntoris'. Or at least, that's what they say to The Lotus. She agrees, but the truth is that I am not lazy. I have to conserve my mental energies for my true calling and major money-maker, which is telekinesis. I think my friends will back me up when I say that: a) telekinesis is psychically draining; b) I spend at least 8 hours per day performing acts of telekinesis; c) therefore I am psychically drained by mid-afternoon and barely able to satisfy my wife's desires deliver rousing speeches at human rights rallies, let alone feed and clothe myself update my website as frequently as I would like. It may be that I'm too much of a perfectionist. I like to push myself to the limits, training myself for the trying times ahead. My ultimate goal? Let me put it this way: right now I can do laundry from a distance using only a byzantine system of levers and pulleys, but everything comes out kind of pink. One day I hope to separate my lights and darks from a distance of 100 yards, using only the power of my mind and not that guy who hangs out in the laundry room all day Sundays.

parode - exode