Once more dyed the rich red colour of sockeye salmon

real outfits for the lads: Smug Mountie is drunk with lemonade and power
real outfits for the lads: future redneck rancher is two seconds away from whuppin' you
real outfits for the lads: you can't see it, but this kid's wearing chaps.
Flashy Gene Autry sling style holster, with artificial firearm and Curse of Gene Autry
Real outfits for the panicked Home Front

Vitals

Written by the guy who hums to himself as he paws through the dumpster

Fueled by rage and fresh roasted peanuts

Design by
Die Schmutz

Worthwhile Palinode Pages:
Humpty's Menu:
one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - twelve - thirteen - fourteen

Can't Stop the Link:
palinode's bloggier blog
The Modern Word
open brackets
smartypants
friday-films
luvabeans
buzzflash
new world disorder
sex & guts!
the memory hole
national pist
Milkmoney or Not
mirabile visu
The Web Revolution!

Fueled by rage and fresh roasted peanuts

an underworld baedecker

Decent reasons not to live in Underworld:

1. It's night.
2. It's raining.
3. Bug-eyed guys with lycanthropy issues won't stop chasing you.
4. You skitter like an oblivious insect on the surface of a thousand-year-old war between a clique of effete poofs in silver shirts and latex corsets and a mob of hooting yahoos behaving like it's last call in some godawful mining town bar.
5. You're stuck dodging crossfire between vampires and werewolves, who, for all their secrecy, prefer to shoot at each other in crowded places.
6. The cops are all werewolves.
7. The lights in the hallway of your apartment building don't work.
8. The lights inside your apartment don't work either.
9. And the maxim bulb strength appears to be five watts anyway, so why bother with the lights?
10. It appears to be Budapest.

Decent reasons not to be a werewolf in Underworld:

1. All that yelling must be hard on the throat.
2. That bug-eyed guy is constantly ordering you around.
3. Vampires got whips and they know how to beat the hell out of a CGI werewolf any old day.
4. You're stuck listening to that bug-eyed guy make pretentious announcements like "I've tasted his flesh," and inside you're fuming "Can't you just say 'I bit him', you googly-eyed freak?"
5. Kate Beckinsale's got a serious hate-on for you, which normally would be just fine, but this time around she's armed.

Decent reasons not to be a vampire in Underworld:

1. Constant langoruous lounging in cobwebbed parlours is really no way to spend your immortality.
2. It doesn't bother you that your leader wears spangly silver shirts.
3. Your leader is named Kraven and you're surprised when he turns out to be a cowardly traitor.
4. Your leader parades around in glittery silver shirts with big lapels, generally looking like a Eurotrash male model circa 1996, and you're surprised when he turns out to be a cowardly traitor.
5. You stop and think: Where did they get these twits? It's like a Pet Shop Boys video rose up from the grave. And then you realize that you're one of them.
6. You're stuck with that mush-mouthed lisp for all eternity.
7. Vampire tradition dictates that you recount the plot every fifteen minutes.

Retracted on 2003-09-29::5:13 p.m.


parode - exode


Listed on BlogsCanada Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com