PLAYING YOUR FAVOURITE A POSTERIORI HITS FROM YESTERDAY AND TODAY

Is this web site possible? Do people like David Jensen, "1985 Graduate of Loveland Highschool" and "your host for the 6:00 All 80s hour on TRI-102.5!" actually exist? I tell you, The Onion could not have invented this guy, who mentions his 1985 alma mater twice on one page and whose favourite songs are Looking Glass' "Brandy, You're a Fine Looking Girl" and Chicago's "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?". Even better, he draws inspirational life lessons from Back to the Future. I've gone over his page several times and I can't shake the feeling that Jensen, TRI-102.5 Lite Radio, the city of Windsor, the state of Colorado, and most of continental North America are actually a hoax, a cleverly photographed collection of odds and ends in someone's backyard, and one day we're going to find out that Mount Rushmore is a 3" tall Play-dough sculpture, Kansas a well-used baking sheet, and the Rocky Mountains mostly compost. This is the vertiginous sense of unreality that the internet can produce. And this page only reinforces that swiftly tilting feeling.

IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE

If you need immediate assistance, just dial (970)396-5050, and someone from the Fritzler Corn MAiZE will pick up the line immediately. The Fritzler MAiZE may not be Colorado's largest corn maze, but it's certainly the "original" and "best" one of the bunch. The Fritzler MAiZE opened in 2000, so I can only assume that larger corn-based attractions have since sprung up across the state. The Fritzler Maze also features "The Beast," billed as "the largest inflatable attraction in the world" and "soon to be world-famous". They don't offer too many details on the Beast aside from its dimensions, as well as an artist's rendition that makes it look like a pissed-off iguana with a congestion problems. Here's the pitch:

The beast is the latest addition to our ever expanding world of fun at the maze. Just imagine...you step into the throat of this enormous creature...you experience the sights and sounds of its internal organs as you travel through this strange dark world...and if you dare to enter after nightfall, be prepared for the fright of your life!

I beg your pardon, but the sights and sounds of its internal organs? Yes, let's find out just what sounds a gigantic inflatable kidney makes.

What I find most confusing about The Beast is that the Fritzlers promise an "educational experience" as you stroll through its insides, but the creature itself is a fictional animal. What, then, are you being educated in, besides the imaginations of the people who make inflatable attractions?

GOOGLER PERÓN SAYS

parode - exode