HEY PALINODE AUTHOR, WHAT HAVE YOU DISCOVERED TODAY? Between x and y I've found a new letter. Unfortunately it's not on my keyboard, so I can't show it to you.

WHAT DOES IT SOUND LIKE? It sounds like a combination of the 'ch' in 'character' and 'pth' in 'pthisis,' but not respectively.

HOW DID YOU FIND IT? I looked carefully at the space between 'x' and 'y' and discovered a small but noticeable bulge, not readily visible to the eye but discernible to the tip of an index finger or thumb. Once I found the bump, I squeezed it gently between my thumbnails until the tip of the letter protruded. Then I pulled gently at the end with tweezers until the entire letter emerged. It was shiny and strangely shaped, but it looked a lot younger than the rest of the alphabet. Probably because it had been protected so long from wear and tear.

DID IT SMELL FUNNY? Yeah, actually.

CAN I FIND IT FOR MYSELF? If you want to feel the small bump, dim the lights and turn down the music. Create a small space for yourself without distractions. Wear loose-fitting light-coloured clothing. Get divorced.

WHERE DO YOU SEE THIS NEW LETTER BEING USED? Primarily in action films and also in certain industrial applications involving hydraulics. Moreover, I see no reason not make it available to the mathematical community. They seem to use all sorts of letters that we have no daily use for. An oval bisected by a crossbar? Yeah, right buddy. You go ahead and make some equations with that.

WHY WAS THIS LETTER BURIED? Understand that at this point we have only theories, and for an authoritative answer you should direct your question to a forensic typologist. Nonetheless, I can offer a few guesses of my own. The most plausible explanation I can think of is that, very early in the development of the Roman alphabet, a scribe created a peculiarly shaped letter that accidentally became ingrown. Alternately, the incised grooves may have become filled in with compacted silica dust. Anything is possible; I wouldn't be surprised if some corrupt Senator had it suppressed as punishment for failing to show proper obeisance or pay some impromptu "taxes".

DO YOU FORESEE ANY OBSTACLES FOR OUR NEW LETTER? Well, first off there's the smell, which I alluded to earlier. It's not unpleasant, but in close quarters it can be pretty overwhelming. And if the truth be told, it's got a curious shape that has little respect for typographical niceties. The x and y on my alphabet are already rotating slightly to the left and right from the pressure. And I hardly need remind anyone here of the intrasigence and myopia of our keyboard manufacturers guild. I urge you, though, not to reject our newly discovered letter out of hand, but to embrace it as you would an old friend met by chance at a train station or at the local market. If you're going to embrace it, though, I recommend you wear an apron or similar protective apparel.

ANY PREDICTIONS FOR THE FATE OF OUR NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ALPHABET? Yeah. It's going to blow the science of numerology wide open.

parode - exode